you're my home
by lost in silence x
Summary: His hands closed around hers. "That's the Blair I know."


She paused outside of the Van der Woodsen's loft and took a deep breath.

It had been three years since she fled the Upper East Side. Three years since she had seen the people on the other side of this door-three years since she seen him.

She didn't think she was ready.

"Aren't you going in?"

Blair turned around and almost did a double take. Eric van der Woodsen stood in front of her, a genuine smile on his handsome face. "Eric! Wow, you look great!" she cried, rushing towards him for a hug. "You look so happy!"

Eric chuckled. "You're looking good, as usual. You can take the girl out of the Upper East Side, but you cant take the Upper East Side out of the girl, I guess." He was eyeing her Carolina Herrera dress and Marc Jacobs messenger bag sheepishly.

Blair rolled her eyes but laughed. "I guess not."

The two went inside, Blair holding her breath as the familiar Van Der Woodsen-Humphrey scent filled her lungs. It was like a mix between Serena and Dan, and it gave her a pang of nostalgia and nerves.

"Blair!" Lily swept towards her in her usual elegant black gown and pulled her into an embrace. "Its so nice to see you! The kids are upstairs in Serena's room. I'm sure you must be dying to see them."

Blair smiled politely. Truthfully, she'd rather stay downstairs, but she knew she was going to have to face him sometime or another.

She hung her coat up and made her way upstairs, trying to ignore the rapid beating of her heart. She climbed the steps with familiar ease. It felt like she was back in high school and she was going to visit Serena to read Vogue magazines and watch Audrey Hepburn movies. She shook her head. This wasn't high school and she wasn't that girl anymore.

Noises echoed in the hallway. She could make out Serena's easy laugh and Nate's deep voice. Without pause, she pushed the door open. "Queen B is back!" she shouted playfully.

Serena let out a shriek and ran into Blair's outstretched arms, nearly knocking her down. "B! I missed you so much."

"Hey, give us a turn." Nate laughed. He wrapped his arms around the two girls, pulling them into a group hug. Blair couldn't help but giggle to herself. A few years ago, she, Nate, and Serena couldn't even be in the same room as each other without tension.

"I want to know everything about L.A," Serena exclaimed when they pulled apart. Her long, blonde hair curtained over her shoulders in its usual mess of tangles and she wore a short dress with no shoes. Some things never change, Blair thought to herself with a smile.

And then she saw him. He was hunched over Serena's desk on his laptop. Three cups of empty coffee littered the desk. He was scrutinizing his computer screen carefully.

"Looks like Lonely Boy hasn't changed." Blair joked.

"He's working on a sequel." Serena clarified.

Dan looked up then, catching Blair's eyes. For a moment, neither blinked. He looked the same as he did that first time they kissed. His brown eyes were still soft and understanding, but also intense. He still wore that confused expression, but it was now mixed with wariness and exhaustion. Blair had to look away.

"I guess not," Dan murmured.

Suddenly, the air in Serena's room seemed to grow deficient. Blair couldn't breathe. She excused herself and made down the hallway, into Jenny's old room. She sat down on the bed and focused on counting to one hundred.

You're ok, Blair. Everything's ok.

Except it wasn't. For five years, she had successfully avoided the Upper East Side, but it wasn't as easy to avoid Dan Humphrey. He seemed to be everywhere: book reviews of The Inside covered literary magazines; his name could be seen from inside Barnes and Noble display windows; his face clouded her vision every time she closed her eyes.

Suddenly the door creaked open and Blair looked up to see Dan, who was standing hesitantly at the door frame. "Lily wanted me to let you know dinner's ready."

"I'll be down in a minute."

Dan seemed to be contemplating something. He made a move to leave, but then walked over to the bed and took a seat next to her. "How are you doing, Blair?" he asked gently.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she was doing fine, everything was great. Then she remembered that this was Dan Humphrey. He was smart; he could see through her lies. So she sighed and told him the truth. "Lousy."

Dan nodded, as if he expected to hear this. He lightly touched her arm. "Come back to New York, Blair. You belong here."

She shook her head but didn't say anything. She studiously avoided looking at her arm, where is hand felt hot on her skin. At one point in her life, she did belong here. Manhattan was her kingdom an no one could come in the way of Blair Waldorf. But that was before, well, Dan Humphrey.

"We miss you. I miss you." He said it quietly, almost inaudibly.

"I read your book," she replied. She had read it more than once, in fact. It sat on her night stand at home, and she'd pick it up whenever she had trouble sleeping, which was more than often lately.

"Why did you leave, Blair?"

Blair settled her eyes on his. "I was scared," she whispered.

"Queen B, scared of Lonely Brooklyn Boy? Wait until Gossip Girl hears this." He grinned.

Blair punched him in the arm. "I swear, Humphrey, don't you dare."

His hands closed around hers. "That's the Blair I know."


End file.
